I’m starting to think lady gaga is too open minded.

would lady gaga would let me be myself if my true self wanted to be a blood diamond exchange middle man to earn money to support my dog fighting gambling habits and for fun gave crack to homeless people and jerked off into department store clothes all while secreting being a serial killer with an strange obsession of sending my feces in the mail to my victims?

Don’t be too open minded, Lady G.

(Source: x-freakshow)

georgefeeny:

i get the special super start by pressing A at the right time

hit someone with a red shell

hit someone with a green shell

hit myself with a green shell

someone shoots a blue shell and i’m not in first

someone shoots a blue shell and i am in first

someone shoots a blue shell and it hits a wall and disappears

fall off the course during the last lap

pull into first at the very last moment

just your average round, you know.

that’a girl.

and why not just throw in a classy porno animated gif for good measure. what a productive tumblr day.

(Source: fashionablesex)

now, here’s a picture of me and my layday

with how i handled that last update. it was very professional.

Here’s what’s been going on in the past week or so.

i went to a total of three times to get  

then recorded some  and also added some 

all whilst listening to a lot of

and some 

but more specifically 

and then played a lot of 

Harry Potter and the Chamber Secretes. Doyagetit? Like a vagina that’s wet from arousal? It secretes. The chamber secretes.

Today, I will have a very adult bro day. I will probably sit by a pool all with a fully unbuttoned collared shirt, wear no shoes and maybe do a few sit ups.

Here’s a picture of professional Adult bro, Bradley Cooper. I’m trying to replicated this exactly for today.

sometimes you just really wanna masturbate, but your friends are over and you can’t just leave up to your room and do it real quick without being totally awkward about.

Please visit godhatesshrimp.com . It’s a very informative website about how eating shellfish will put you on the losing side for today’s rapture.

That being said, a couple suicide cults over the rapture today would help weed out some of the retarded people in America.

Other than that, Alien is wayyyy better than Aliens. Ridley Scott over James fuckface Cameron any day.